Farewell South East Asia

It's been 102 days, 5 countries, and a lifetime of memories. As I sit here on my last morning in Bangkok, trying to reflect on my time in South East Asia, its hard to pinpoint what to write about. My favorite places and experiences? That's easy, those are the time that I won't forget--eating happy pizza with Beatriz in Cambodia, cycling through the central highlands in Vietnam, relaxing in the tiny village of Mai Chau, the friendship and hospitality of Susan in Dalat, rockclimbing in Yangshuo, doing absolutely nothing in the presence of great company in Muong Ngoi, floating down a beautiful river in Vang Vieng, the beaches of Thailand, and of course, all of the food. But what about the hard times? The times I wanted to throw up my hands and book the next ticket home, the times when situations became so overwhelming that I was reduced to tears. The times of homesickness and loneliness, when I wanted nothing more than to talk to my family, to be comforted by their embrace. The times I was sick or just too exhausted to do anything at all. Will I remember those times too, in a year, 5 years, 20 years from now? Surely those are the moments that helped to shape my transformation into the person I am now more than the fun times. But we have a tendancy to block out the negative from memories. It's the best and worst times that I think will have a permanent fixture in my memory of Asia. But what about the mundane, the colors, the sounds, the smells? Those qualities that give a place its character, the ones that for the most part, go unnoticed? I don't want to forget the warmth of the sun at sunrise, or the intoxicating aromas that fill the streets on market day, the Asian pop music that I grew to appreciate, or the crowing of the roosters long before sunrise, the warm smiles of locals and the excitement of children, or the sound of shop owners calling out "Cheap cheap Massage for you, good price for you, good price for me!" in the high pitched, heavily accented tones that only a local could pull off. Or what about the wierd phases I went through, my obsession with icecream in Cambodia, my love for peanut butter in Vietnam, my need to eat mandarin oranges after every meal in China and my insistence to eat sticky rice at every meal in Laos, or my cravings for chocolate milk in Thailand. It's funny how much centers around food. And what about the times that I didn't write about, maybe I was too embarrased at the time, but they make me laugh now as I sit here and think back--like squatting over a garbage can in my room peeing into a plastic bottle because I was too tired to walk down to the bathroom, or the time that I didn't shower or change my clothes for nearly a week because I was too cold, the time I forgot to bring my towel with me to the shower and had to run back to my room soaking wet and naked because my clothes were too dirty to put back on, or the time that I had the runs so bad that I actually crapped my pants as I was running to the toilet! Funny how all of those memories involve bathrooms. But more than anything, I hope to retain the collective memory of Asia as a place that challenged me to rediscover the true, authentic Dona, to develop the confidence to be the person who I am most comfortable being, and to not sacrifice myself to please others. Its been a selfish 102 days, 3 1/2 months of doing nothing but what I wanted, when I wanted. I don't think I've really changed all that much, a little here and there, but for the most part its the same me, just a little, what's the word, fine-tuned? My confidence and self-esteem still stumble a bit in search of solid ground, but everyday I learn a little more, grow a little more, love myself a little more. Asia has helped me to redefine and solidify my most personal needs, wants, and desires. I wonder what India will have in store for me?

I leave tomorrow morning for Calcutta, a city that is a microcosm of the Indian subcontinent all smashed into a single city. Its going to be a shock, overwhelming, exciting, and a brillant way to start my travels in India, thrown right into the thick of things! Thanks for all of your support and words of encouragement, and be sure to keep it coming...I'm going to need you guys more than ever in India!