What a year it has been!

This has definitely been a year to remember. I turned 25, a pivotal year which somehow measures the crossing into full-fledged adulthood. I thought I had everything in order, perfectly lined up for the perfect life. I had the love of my life, two wonderful pets, and big dreams. But my destiny had different plans, ones that took me completely by surprise.

This year I ran my first and second half marathons, I lost my beloved uncle Kaare, I climbed every last inch of Half Dome, I broke up with the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with, and I embarked on a journey of a lifetime. So much for my perfectly ordered plans.

Marriage, travel, kids. That's what I wanted, more than anything, and still those are the 3 things I want most in life. To live out my days with the person who can compliment me perfectly and be my equal, to travel the world enjoying all of the unknown wonders that it has to offer, and to be a mother. I know I will eventually have all of those, but the order has been switched on me, and my path to attaining them is no longer the straight line I once was walking down. I've taken the fork in the road, the path less traveled, a path that's a little more exciting, filled with plenty of unknown and adventure. I'm starting to really like this new path my life has chosen, but there's another part of me that misses my old life. The certainty of what lie ahead, the comfort of the known. There was a moment or me a few months ago when I first realized how different things were going to be. Isom an I had broken up a few days earlier, and in those first few days, I didn't let myself belive it was true. We were too perfect together, I'd tell myself over and over again. But then like a ton of bricks it hit me. I needed to get away, breakout of my skin, my happy-go-lucky smile that was holding me hostage. I needed to cry. And for the first time since that awful day, I sat in my car, in the middle of a field typical of the Davis landscape, and I cried. Gut wrenching, hysterical sobs. I had lost my footing, my path, my certainty. The one person that I had based the last 6 years on, my future on, was gone. Isom and Dona, the perfect couple, was no more. I wasn't ready to face that reality, but knew that I had to. My life played out in front of me like an old, scratchy movie. Recounting all of the wonderfully blissful and happy times, all of the laughter. It had been a great chapter in story of my life, but one that we had both grown out of. And for the first time, I let myself believe that it was ok. The despite the heartache, the tears, and the snot blubbering out of my nose, the next chapter needed to start. I had to allow myself to move on. Isom and I grew up together, but had reached a point where we both needed different things--he to deal with family obligations and the struggle to see his piloting dreams come to fruition, and me to spread my wings and break out of the mold of normalcy. It was in that field, in my car, that I took the first steps to accepting the fact that the life I had built for myself, was not what destiny had in store for me.